Do you want to win at dating?
Some people love the dating process, while other people dislike nearly every part of it. They don’t like using online dating apps, they don’t like talking to strangers and they think that first dates are awkward and unpleasant. But why is the experience so different for people?
Normally it is linked to the person’s mindset. If you have a positive mindset about dating, you will enjoy the experience (and you will also likely grow as a person). On the other hand, if you have negative mindsets about dating, you’ll really struggle to enjoy the dating process.
Thankfully it is possible to shift your thoughts about dating so that you enjoy it more. Here are three positive mindsets to help you win at dating.
Mindsets To Help You Win At Dating
1. Trade Short Term Satisfaction For Lasting Happiness
Modern dating comes with a lot of short-term gratification, so it can be easy to lose sight of long-term happiness. You may find yourself chasing the dopamine hit of a new match or message, so you focus on constantly matching with new people (even if you have already matched with people you are attracted to).
This can be fun for a while, but it can make it difficult to actually find a serious relationship. This is because you are eagerly waiting for new matches, instead of actually establishing a relationship with someone you like.
Over time that can cause dating fatigue, so try to prioritise long term happiness over short term satisfaction. Set up first dates (even if they make you feel awkward!), and try to have deeper conversations with people to see if they are compatible with you. This may be less rewarding in the short term, but in the long term it will likely bring you much more happiness!
2. Focus On Sustainable Self-Growth
If you really want to succeed with dating, you should look inwards. Ask yourself these questions; do I have any red flag personality traits? Is there anything I could do to make myself more dateable? This could be working on your communication skills, or it could be trying to be more open and honest with your matches. This will make it easier for other people to see you as a potential partner (and it will also help you to love yourself more!).
Are you enjoying this article? If so, here are some more positive mindsets that can help you succeed with dating.
3. Put Self-Love Over The Approval Of Others
If you always focus on impressing other people, you may end up dating people who aren’t actually a good match for you. Maybe you hide certain personality traits to impress other people, or maybe you pretend to be interested in things that you don’t actually like. Either way, over time you will start to lose sight of your true self – and this will make dating pretty unpleasant.
So make sure self-love is more important to you than the approval of others. Sure, you may get less matches and dates – but the people you do date are much more likely to bring you genuine happiness.