Chemistry can be hard to define – but when we feel it, we really feel it. It is a wonderful feeling, and it is normally a combination of a few things (including sexual attraction, ease and openness). For many people it is an essential part of a relationship. Yet despite this, many people don’t really understand chemistry or how it works.
Is chemistry the same as lust?
Does chemistry always appear straight away, or does it sometimes take time to develop?
The answer is yes and no. Here is everything you need to know about chemistry and dating.
1. Everything You Need To Know About Chemistry When Dating: Chemistry And Lust Aren’t The Same Thing
Lust and chemistry can feel very similar, but there are actually a few differences between the two. Both feelings require sexual attraction, but chemistry tends to be more emotional than lust. It requires a more genuine connection, while lust only requires sexual attraction.
However it is important to be aware neither feeling should negate bad behaviour. It can be tempting to think “they are quite selfish, but we have great sex!”. Ultimately it is important to find someone who you have more than just lust or chemistry with; you need mutual respect and care.
2. Attraction And Chemistry Aren’t Always The Same
Lots of people also think that basic attraction and chemistry are the same, but this isn’t always the case. For example, you might be able to recognise that one of your friends is attractive, but it doesn’t mean that you are actually sexually attracted to them. You may enjoy spending time with them and understand why other people are attracted to them, but there simply isn’t any chemistry there for you.
3. Chemistry Isn’t Always Immediately Obvious
It is worth noting that chemistry isn’t always immediately obvious (unlike lust). This is because chemistry develops over time. So if you go on a date with someone and only feel slightly attracted to them, you may want to consider seeing them again. After all, your feelings could strengthen as you get to know them better!
4. …But Don’t Wait Too Long!
While chemistry can take a while to develop, we don’t suggest waiting for months for feelings to develop. If you don’t feel like the feelings are growing stronger in the first few weeks, it probably means that there isn’t much chemistry between you. If this is the case, we suggest telling the other person how you feel so that you don’t waste each other’s time. Remember to always be realistic about your feelings and expectations!