Are You Being Too Hard On Yourself When Online Dating?

Are You Being Too Hard On Yourself When Online Dating?

Do you feel like you are a failure when it comes to online dating?

Do you blame yourself for still being single?

If so, you might be being too hard on yourself. Online dating isn’t easy. In fact, it is a lot like a relationship; sometimes it is fun, but sometimes it can be disappointing and messy.

Here are five signs that indicate you are being too hard on yourself when online dating.


Signs You’re Being Too Hard On Yourself When Online Dating

1. You Have Set Yourself Dating Targets (Such As Find Love In The Next Six Months)

If you set targets and deadlines when you are online dating (such as I want to meet someone in the next month, or I want to be in an official relationship by the end of the year), you are making dating harder than it needs to be.

Sure, those things could happen – but they also might not, and putting pressure on yourself to meet these deadlines will make dating unenjoyable. Instead try to enjoy dating with no expectations (and remember that this doesn’t mean that you are any less likely to find love!).


2. You Think Bad Dates Are Always Your Fault

Everyone messes up on a date from time to time, but you shouldn’t blame yourself for every single bad date. Sometimes people simply aren’t compatible, so there is no need to beat yourself up for the date not going well. Remind yourself that if the person is right for you, it won’t be a bad date – and the right person for you is certainly out there.


3. Your Photos Are Edited

Edited, photoshopped pictures are sadly very common online now, but using them on online dating sites is rarely a good idea. Presenting an airbrushed, ‘improved’ version of yourself to others means that you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to live up to those expectations.

Instead you should use natural, happy pictures that show the authentic you. This will remove some of the dating pressure, so you won’t feel like you need to be as hard on yourself.


4. You Constantly Compare Yourself To Others

If you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to other people online, you are probably being too hard on yourself. Maybe you compare yourself to airbrushed celebrities, or maybe you compare your love life with someone who is in a relationship. Either way, doing so doesn’t change your situation; it just means that you will feel more negative about yourself. Remember that this form of comparison does nothing to enhance your life, and it can make being single feel very unpleasant.


5. You Are Apologetic On Your Dating Profile

If you find yourself being apologetic on your dating profile (for instance, you may feel a need to explain your age, or you may say that you have ‘weird’ hobbies), you are probably being too hard on yourself. This is common for people who have low self-esteem, but in reality you should embrace every aspect of yourself. Remember there are millions of other people who use online dating, so there is definitely someone who will embrace every aspect of you – including the things you don’t like about yourself.

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Amy Johnson
Written by Amy Johnson