“When I met my partner I finally found happiness!”
“You should leave your partner, you deserve to be happy!”
“I just wish I could find someone so that I could be happy.”
It is very likely that you have heard or read something like this. You may have even said or thought it yourself! This is because many people believe that being in a relationship will them happier. This can be due to a variety of reasons; some people buy into the idea of romantic love being the most important thing in the world, while other people hate the idea of being lonely.
Sadly this love-equals-happiness mind-set is very unhealthy, and it can even prevent you from finding real love.
Will A Relationship Make You Happy?
A healthy, stable relationship will bring happiness into your life, but it shouldn’t be your source of happiness. Relationships are complex and difficult, and the person you are with is just like you; they are only human. It isn’t their job to make you happy or meet your needs, just like it isn’t your job to make them happy or meet their needs. A relationship isn’t about owning someone and making demands – a relationship is about encouraging and supporting each other in a healthy way.
If you think that relationships will make you much happier, it is very possible that you will end up with the wrong person. This is because you are more likely to ignore or forgive character traits and behaviours that you actually dislike – just so that you can be in a relationship.
It is also likely that when you are in the relationship you will still have bad days. These bad days will feel even worse as you will expect your partner to make you happy, instead of actively trying to make yourself happy.
This can put a lot of strain on your partner, as they may feel like they are responsible for your moods and emotions, which can leave them feeling stressed and upset.
Remember that you make yourself happy – and that is a great thing! Only you have the power to control your happiness, and if you have your best interests at heart you are sure to live a happy, enjoyable life (and it is very likely that your life will include loving, committed relationships!)
So Will Love Make You Happy?
If you find true love during a healthy relationship it will bring a lot of happiness into your life. Your partner will enrich and support you, and you will do the same thing for them – but this because you won’t rely on each other for happiness.
Instead of thinking “my partner will be able to get me out of this bad mood”, you will think “seeing my partner is sure to put me in a better mood”. You won’t expect anything from your love; you will just be grateful to share your life with them.
From now on you will be proactive about your happiness. You will work on loving yourself and doing things you love, and then when you start a relationship you will be able to find true love.