Do you struggle to feel attraction towards other people?
Are you wanting to give up on dating completely?
If so, we’d like to help. Dating can be a difficult game, and it is actually quite normal to struggle with feelings of attraction. Feeling this way doesn’t make you strange or abnormal – but it could mean that there are underlying issues in your life.
Here’s how to proceed if you’re not attracted to anyone.
1. Causes For Not Feeling Attraction: Depression
If you are experiencing depression you may struggle to feel attraction towards other people. This is because depression can suppress your serotonin levels, which can result in a loss of sexual desire. If you think this is the case for you, we suggest speaking to your doctor or GP about how you feel. They will be able to provide you with support and treatment so that you feel less alone.
If you are depressed, you may want to prioritise your own feelings over dating. Remember that these feelings are not necessarily permanent, but the main goal right now is your own happiness and self-worth.
2. Dating Pressure
Modern dating comes with a lot of pressure to find “the one” so that you can settle down. This can make dating feel pretty stressful, and over time it can cause dating fatigue. Dating fatigue can make the idea of dating generally unpleasant, which can affect your libido.
If you think that you are experiencing dating fatigue, we suggest taking a little break from dating. Realign with the values that truly matter to you, and return to dating when you are excited about the idea of meeting new people. It is very likely that this break will help to boost your feelings of attraction towards other people.
If you rarely (or never) feel attracted to people, it could mean that you are asexual. Asexuality is when someone feels little or no sexual attraction towards other people, and it is more normal than you may expect. A recent study found that around 1% of people are asexual, so there are lots of asexual people on dating apps!
If you think that you are asexual, it doesn’t mean that you have to stop dating. In fact, there are lots of people who are interested in a romantic, non-sexual relationship! So don’t put pressure on yourself to feel feelings that you don’t actually feel; instead, consider looking for a non-sexual relationship that will bring you true happiness.
What To Do If You’re Not Attracted To Anyone
It can feel confusing not feeling attraction towards anyone. These feelings could be temporary, or it could be a long-term orientation. Either way, the most important thing is your own happiness. Remember that sexual attraction is only a small part of life, and lots of people don’t feel attraction towards others. So if you are happy and comfortable in yourself, nothing else matters!