It can be tempting to get back with an ex after a tough break up, especially if you were together for a long time.
This is normally for sentimental reasons; maybe you feel like there was so much potential, or maybe you constantly reminisce about the good times. This is totally normal, but it is important to be realistic about your emotions. Sure, some couples do get back together and everything works out… but the vast majority of couples just spilt up again – and the second break up is often worse than the first.
Here are six signs that indicate you shouldn’t go back to your ex (even if you really, really want to).
1. Your Close Friends Don’t Like Them
You shouldn’t base your relationships around the approval of others, but if literally all of your friends dislike your ex it probably means they didn’t treat you very well. So if your friends have a problem with your ex, sit down with them and ask them why.
2. Trust Was An Issue In Your Relationship
If trust was a long-running issue in your relationship, you shouldn’t get back together. This is because trust is one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship, so if there is no trust you can’t have a healthy relationship. A lack of trust can also cause other issues, such as insecurity, self-doubt and resentment.
3. You Can’t Be Bothered Dating New People
Lots of people fear the unknown (and the chance of putting themselves out there and being rejected), so they consider going back to their ex. However this is one of the worse reasons to get back together! This is because you only want them back because you feel lonely. Instead work on making yourself feel good, and then eventually you will want to start dating new people again.
4. You Have Started To Overlook Your Deal Breakers
If you and your ex broke up because of a deal breaker (maybe one of you wants to be in an open relationship, or one of you doesn’t want to have children), you shouldn’t get back together. No-one should have to compromise on their deal breakers, especially if the compromise will affect the rest of their life.
5. You Are Often Miserable When You Are With Them
If you feel low when you spend time with your ex, it probably means that you will even more miserable if you start dating them again. Don’t cling on to the good times if your feelings have changed; you deserve someone who can really make you happy.
6. You Are Scared You Won’t Love Again
Sometimes it is impossible to imagine moving on, but eventually you will. Right now you may still be in love with your ex, but those feelings will pass eventually. Be patient and focus on yourself, and eventually you will find love again.