You’ve met someone online, and things are going fairly well. You find them attractive, and you enjoy talking to them – but a part of you is wondering if the relationship is real or not.

Feeling like this is actually quite common; after all, it can be difficult to build up trust with someone who lives far away! It is also important to stay safe online, especially if you think you’ve encountered a scammer or a fake profile. Thankfully there are red flags you can look out for to work out if the relationship is genuine.

Here are five signs that indicate you’re in a phony LDR.

1. Signs That Indicate You’re In A Phony LDR: They Often Disappear For Days Or Weeks At A Time

They randomly disappear for days or weeks at a time, and they don’t give you an explanation beforehand. During this time they don’t respond to any of your messages or call you back, and it feels like you have been ghosted. Eventually they reappear without much of an explanation (even when you push them to tell you what they were doing).

2. Calls Frequently End With No Explanation

Phone and video calls often end abruptly with no explanation. Sure, everyone deals with bad signal sometimes – but this happens enough for you to notice it and question it. They also don’t immediately call you back or message you, which makes you feel a little suspicious.

3. They Won’t Video Chat Or Send Pictures

You speak to them over messenger frequently, but they seem unwilling to video chat or send pictures. This is a major red flag, as it could mean they are pretending to be someone else. Sure, not everyone has the time to video chat constantly – but if they can’t even send you a recent picture of them, you have every right to question their identity.

4. They Ask For Gifts Or Money

Gift giving is a normal part of most long term relationships, but asking for gifts early on in the relationship is a red flag. Remember that sending gifts and money isn’t proof of love, and if you do it too soon you may end up feeling used. So avoid sending gifts or money when you first match with someone; instead, look for someone who is looking for love, rather than money.

5. You’re Worried The Relationship Isn’t Genuine

Even though on the surface things seem to be going well, you have a niggling feeling in your gut that tells you the relationship isn’t real. This could be because of their actions (such as very slow replies), or it could simply be a feeling you can’t get rid of. Either way, it is important to trust your gut. This could mean ending the relationship, or it could be talking to the other person about how you feel. After all, if the relationship is healthy and real, it is unlikely that you would constantly spend time questioning it!