When you fall for someone new, it can be tempting to imagine that the relationship will last forever – but sadly, this is rarely the case. Recent research found that the average relationship lasts less than 3 years, so nearly everyone dates a few people before they meet the person they want to spend the rest of their lifetime with.
But how do you know if your crush is the right person for you? There are lots of indicators that show that someone isn’t right for you; you just need to know what they are.
Here are six more indicators that show they aren’t the right person for you.
1. They Try To Change You Right Away
You’ve only been speaking to them for a few weeks, but they are already trying to change you. Normally during the honeymoon phase it is very difficult to see the other person’s flaws or faults, so if they are already pointing out things they don’t like about you, it could mean it isn’t a great match. Over time their attitude may also lower your self-esteem, so if this happens we suggest ending the relationship as soon as possible.
2. They Talk About Their Ex Frequently
Your crush always finds a reason to bring their ex up, and you’re starting to wonder if they still have feelings for them. It doesn’t matter if they talk about their ex in a negative, angry way (instead of a loving way); this still indicates that they are obsessed with them. This isn’t a reflection on you; they may be dating too soon after a break up, or they could genuinely still be in love with their ex. Either way, they shouldn’t be trying to date you!
3. You Question If They Like You
You often find yourself wondering if your crush really likes you. This could be due to slow replies, a dismissive attitude or them showing an interest in someone else – but no matter the reason, if they really liked you, you would know. Remind yourself that you deserve to date someone who makes you feel appreciated and valued.
4. You Make Excuses For Them
You often make excuses for their bad behavior. You think “they’ve been hurt in the past, which is why they treat me like this now”, or “they didn’t text back for days because they were feeling stressed out and overwhelmed”. You do this because you hope they will change eventually, but in reality you are just setting yourself up for prolonged rejection (that could last months or even years).
5. They Yo-Yo
They disappear at the first sign of commitment or imperfection, and they only return when they are sure that you are your ‘best self’ again. This can be very frustrating, and it can also make you question yourself (such as wondering if you are too clingy, or too pushy). In reality this isn’t the case; they are the flawed one for constantly disappearing and returning.
6. You Suspect Game Playing
You suspect that they are playing a game (and so do your friends), but you continue to date them because you really like them and you want them to change. You hope that eventually they will realize you are a catch, and then they will commit to you – but this is an unrealistic expectation if your crush is playing games already. Instead look for someone who is clear about their intentions from day one.
Remember that one bad apple doesn’t mean all apples are bad. You are a worthy, valuable human who deserves love and respect. Sometimes this can be hard to see when you are dating a game player, but once the relationship ends you will realize that they were the problem – not you.
Did you like this article? If so, check out the first part here.