How To Turn Someone Down

How To Turn Someone Down

Being asked on a date can be very exciting… but only if you are attracted to the person who is asking, and this isn’t always the case! People are often asked out by people they are not interested in, and this can be an awkward experience for both parties – but it doesn’t have to be.

It is entirely possible to turn someone down without offending or upsetting them; you just need to be considerate but fair. Here are five tips to help you turn someone down in a respectful way.


1. Keep The Message Short

If you have only known the person for a few days or weeks it may be best to keep the message short. It can be tempting to write a really long reply so you don’t feel like you are being dismissive, but this can come across as awkward rambling. Instead draft a short, firm-but-fair message that ends with a positive sentiment (such as “I hope you have a good day!”). Maturity is always the best option, and it is less likely to make the other person feel uncomfortable.


2. Be Final And Clear

When you turn someone down it is very important to be clear. Don’t give them hope that you may change your mind in the future, as this will cause more problems down the line if you are lying. Be honest about how you feel, and allow the other person to move on.


3. Treat Others As You’d Like To Be Treated

Before you send your response, reread it and imagine you are the other person. Would it hurt your feelings? Is it clear and direct? Make sure it is a respectful, kind response that won’t hurt the other person any more than necessary – and don’t ghost them!


4. Don’t Accept Aggression

If the other person responds to your message with aggression, ignore them or block them. No-one is entitled to another person, so aggression is unwarranted. It is not your job to provide endless explanations or reasons; if you don’t like them, that is the end of it!


5. Make It About You, Not Them

When you are writing the message, focus on talking about yourself, rather than them. Saying why they aren’t your type could come across as rude, and it will likely hurt their feelings. So instead use “I” statements, such as “I don’t feel that way about you. I am sorry”, or “I am not looking for anything serious”.

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