Lots of people can understand feeling jealous in a relationship. This is because jealousy is a totally normal emotion, even if people don’t like to talk about feeling jealous. However jealousy can become a problem, especially if you feel insecure about your partner’s ex.
Thankfully it is possible to stop feeling jealous; you just need to be open and honest with yourself (and perhaps your partner).
Here are five tips to help you stop feeling jealous about your date’s ex.
1. Be Rational
Obsessive thinking can make jealousy worse, so try to be rational – even if it is hard! Remind yourself that the present is the only thing that matters; they are with you now, so they must like you and want to be with you. Even if they were with their ex for years, your relationship is still currently more significant because they are with you right now. If they didn’t want to be with you, they wouldn’t be.
2. Think About Friendships
Think about your best friend. You are aware that they had other best friends before they became close to you, and that probably doesn’t bother you at all. You likely understand that their past friendships grew apart over time, and this made it possible for you to become close friends. Apply this same logic to your romantic relationship, and you will feel happier and less jealous.
3. Use Empathy
It can also be beneficial to apply empathy to the situation. Put yourself in your date’s shoes, and think about they feel; do they spend lots of time with you and no time with their ex? Do they compliment you and make you feel attractive? If the answer is yes, they obviously care about you.
4. DON’T Stalk Their Social Media
It might be tempting to stalk your date and their ex’s social media pages, but this will do more harm than good. After all, most people tend to only post the best moments of their life, so if you see selfies or pictures of the relationship you might feel even more jealous. It is also important to remember the past is in the past, and mulling over it will stop you from appreciating the present.
5. Consider Talking To Your Partner
If you have done everything on this list and you still feel jealous, it could be worth sitting down with your partner and talking to them about how you feel. Don’t attack them or throw around accusations; just calmly tell them how you feel, and give them the chance to reassure you. Often you will find that your partner had no idea how you were feeling, and now they know they can try to help you with your feelings of jealousy.