Lots of people struggle with self-doubt. We live in a society that seems to value physical appearance over morals and ethics, and shaming others for their appearance (or personality) is sadly very common.

This means that many single people struggle to love themselves, even if they are a fantastic person… and we want to help change that. Sure, self-love is a long, difficult journey, so one article won’t transform how you feel about yourself – but it could help to put you on the right track, and this will make dating easier and more enjoyable.

Here are four steps you can take to like yourself more.

1. How To Like Yourself More: Lower Your Expectations

It is very easy to dislike yourself if you set extremely high expectations for yourself. If you plan to do too much (such as work 60 hours a week and hit the gym five times a week), you are far more likely to fail – and this will make you doubt yourself even further. So set more realistic goals (such as working 40 hours a week and going to the gym at least once), and then you will feel more accomplished and happy each day.

It is also important to apply this attitude to your dating life. You don’t need to meet the love of your life as soon as you start dating, and one bad date doesn’t mean that you are unlovable. Everyone is different, and you should feel accomplished for making an active effort to find love.

2. See Yourself As A Friend

Next time you experience self-doubt, ask yourself “would I say this to my friend if they were in the same situation?” The likely answer is no; if you talked to your friends like you talk to yourself, you’d quickly run out of friends! So try to be nicer to yourself in your own head, and over time you will develop a more positive, loving relationship with yourself.

3. Take Time To Discover Yourself

Set aside a little time every day (say 30 minutes) to learn more about yourself. Figure out exactly who you are; think about the traits you value the most, and consider about what you really want from your life. This will teach you more about yourself and your values, so it will be easier to love your true self – and it will also be easier for you to create a life that reflects your personality and your values.

4. Ditch Your Regrets

Finally you should try to ditch past regrets that still bother you (such as a bad break up, or a missed opportunity). Self-doubt is often deeply embedded in feelings of regret, so it is important to look forward instead of backwards. Realise you have the power to change the future in a way that suits you, but the past will never change – and focusing on it will make you feel negative and unsure.