When most people think about having ‘the relationship talk’, they immediately feel dread and fear. They are terrified to put themselves out there, worrying that the other person will reject them and move on.
Can you relate to this? If so, we’d like to help. Here are six helpful tips that will make ‘the relationship talk’ go smoothly (even if you don’t get the result you were hoping for).
1. How To Have The Relationship Talk: Remind Yourself It Is Normal To Want To Know
Start by reminding yourself that it is totally normal to want to know where you stand. It isn’t clingy, or crazy; it just means that you respect yourself and value your time. If they say no, it is unfortunate – but it doesn’t mean that it was wrong to ask.
2. Wait Until The Right Time
According to relationship experts, most people have ‘the relationship talk’ after dating for about two months, but it could be earlier or later than this depending on your relationship. If you see each other all of the time, it is fine to ask earlier – but if you have only met three or four times, you may want to hold off until you know each other a little better.
3. Don’t Worry About Scaring Them
If the other person really likes you, having the talk won’t scare them away – but if they do get scared, it probably means they don’t see you as a serious long-term partner. This can be hard to learn, but you deserve to date someone who doesn’t get scared when they think about committing to you.
4. Don’t Begin With “We Should Talk”
It can be tempting to start with this line, but it will likely make the other person feel extremely anxious and nervous. Instead keep the conversation light and friendly, so that neither of you end up feeling defensive.
5. Be Honest And Straightforward
Try to keep the conversation honest and straightforward, rather than drawn-out and emotional. Be clear and direct about your feelings; you could say something as simple as “hey, I really like you and I’m hoping this is getting more serious. Are you looking for something serious?”
6. Be Ready To Accept Any Outcome
Finally it is important to be ready to accept any outcome. You may really like the other person, but if they are not ready for a relationship you should respect that decision. Don’t be scared to move on, and don’t continue to see the other person if they have made it very clear they don’t want the same thing as you. This can be painful, but it also allows you to keep looking for the right person.