Are you dating someone who doesn’t really listen to you? Do you often feel misunderstood and frustrated? If so, it is likely that you and your partner have communication issues – but thankfully these issues can be fixed.
Here are five ways to get your date to listen to you.
1. Choose The Right Time
If you really want your date to listen to you, you should wait until the moment is right. Don’t bring it up when they are working or stressed, as they will be distracted and they might not listen properly. Wait until they have time to give you their full, undivided attention – and if they still seem distracted, ask them “is there a better time to have this conversation?”.
2. Summarise Your Points
Lots of people get carried away when they are trying to explain themselves, and this can make it harder for your partner to understand the issue. So sit down and summarise your points beforehand, as this means your points will be clear and easy to understand. It also means that your partner will be able to respond to your points, so they won’t feel like you are running the conversation.
3. Check In With Them
Try to sporadically check in with your partner throughout the conversation. This will make your partner feel respected and loved, and it also means they are less likely to get frustrated or annoyed. Remember that communication is a two way street, and your partner’s points are just as valid as yours!
4. Don’t Focus Solely On The Negatives
You should also try not to focus solely on the negatives, as this will make your partner feel defensive. Keep an open, clear mind, and talk in a calm voice that won’t put your partner on edge. It can be difficult to do this, especially if you are really annoyed, but if you actually want to work on the problem you shouldn’t come from a place of anger.
5. Don’t Attack The Other Person
Finally you should try to avoid attacking the other person. Don’t insult them or over-generalize (e.g “you always act like this”), as it will irritate the other person and make them less likely to understand your perspective. It can be tempting to try and ‘win’ the argument, but in reality a true win is a reasonable compromise that both parties are happy with.