Sometimes we fall for people who aren’t available. Maybe they are already in a relationship, or maybe they only see you as a friend; either way, moving on can be as difficult as a break-up. Thankfully it is possible to move on; you just need to change your mindset and make an effort to put yourself first.
Here are six tips to help you get over someone you never dated.
1. How To Get Over Someone You Never Dated: Grieve The Relationship
It is normal to feel grief when a relationship ends, even if the relationship was one-sided. So give yourself a few days to grieve; feel your feelings, cry if you need to, and partake in some self-care activities (such as enjoying a bubble bath with candles). Letting your feelings out will make it easier for you to process them, so you can start to move on.
2. Give Them A New Position In Your Life
If there is no chance of a romantic connection with your crush, assign them a new position in your life. This could be stranger, acquaintance or friend; just make sure to remove the crush aspect from the way you frame the relationship in your mind. Sure, the feelings may still be there for now – but picturing the relationship in a different way will help you to begin the process of moving on.
3. Change Your Behaviour
Once you decide on their new position in your life, change your behaviour to match that. If you decide to remove them from your life, make a conscious effort to actually do this; stop texting them and remove them as a friend from your social media pages. If you decide to keep them as a friend, create distance by seeing them less frequently (and avoid date-like situations, such as meeting them at a bar). This will help to establish the new platonic relationship in your mind.
4. Train Yourself To Stop Thinking About Them
If you really like someone, you may find that your brain is constantly filled with thoughts and fantasies about them. This can make moving on nearly impossible, so try to train your brain to stop thinking about them. When you do catch yourself thinking about them, try to refocus your brain on something else. Exercise, call a friend or watch a comfort TV show; whatever helps you to stop thinking about them in that moment.
5. Make A Plan To Avoid Them While You Move On
Even if you know that you need to move on, it is still likely that there will be times you are tempted to talk to them. You may hope that they will change their mind – but if they aren’t into you, the best thing you can do is move on.
So we suggest setting up a plan to reduce the chance of you contacting them. This could be deleting their number, or it could be writing a letter to yourself that you will read before reaching out. This will reduce the chance of you contacting them, which means you won’t relapse on your progress.
6. Try To Be Happy For Them If They Are Dating Someone
At the beginning of moving on it may feel impossible to be happy for them if they are in a relationship, but as time moves on your feelings may change. You may realise that you were incompatible in the long-run, or you may realise that their partner makes them genuinely happy. Either way, try to mentally wish them well – and then go back to focusing on your own life.