It may not seem like it, but the world of dating is filled with thousands of shy people. In fact, a significant amount of people struggle with shyness; a recent study found that nearly 20% of adults have an anxiety disorder, and this can make them seem shy and withdrawn. But what happens if you fall for a shy person? How exactly do you flirt with then without making them feel nervous?
Here five tips to help you flirt with a shy person.
1. How To Flirt With A Shy Person: Talk To Them When They Feel Comfortable
Most people feel more confident and relaxed when they are comfortable, so time your conversations for the best results. If you know that they feel stressed out straight after work, wait a few hours before you send them a message. If you know they love sports, watch them play and then talk to them afterwards. This will make the conversation much more enjoyable (and it also gives you something to talk about!).
2. Ask Questions That Start Conversations
If you want the conversation to flow naturally try to ask more open ended questions (such as “what do you like about Marvel movies?”), rather than closed questions (such as “Do you like Marvel?”). Of course you will still ask some close ended questions, but open ended questions make it much easier for people to open up. This will help a shy person to relax, and it means that the conversation will be less stilted.
3. Focus On Their Interests
If you want a shy person to open up you should focus on their interests. It can be tempting to fill any awkward silences with random chatter about yourself, but if you keep doing this it can come across as narcissistic. So next time the conversation goes quiet, ask them about themselves. Ask what food they like to eat, or if they have any hobbies or interests – and if they bring up something you love too, hone in on that; bonding over a shared interest is a great way to get a shy person to feel more understood.
4. Ask For Assistance
It could also be beneficial to ask the shy person for help with something. For example, you could say “I’ve been trying a new recipe but it just doesn’t taste right. I know you love cooking – do you have any tips for me?” This takes the pressure off the person as they aren’t the focus of the conversation, and it also makes them feel helpful and useful.
5. When The Conversation Ends, Make It Clear You Want To Talk Again
When the conversation draws to a close make it clear that you want to talk to the other person again. If they respond well, ask them for their number or social media handle. This makes it much easier to get in touch in the future, and it also lets your crush know that you do want them to be a part of your life.