Break ups are normally tough – but they tend to be a lot harder when a narcissist is involved. It can be very difficult to leave a narcissist, even if the relationship is unhappy, as narcissists will say or do anything they can to stop their partner leaving. They may cry, they may shout and scream, or they may tell horrible lies to try and manipulate you.
Luckily it isn’t impossible to break up with a narcissist; you just need to plan what you will say in advance, and then stay strong for the conversation.
Here are four tips to help you break up with a narcissist.
1. How To Break Up With A Narcissist: Don’t Allow Them To Control The Conversation
Narcissists normally want to control all of their interactions, so be aware of this during a break up. Focus the conversation on facts, and don’t feel like you need to overly explain yourself. Remember that a narcissist doesn’t really care about your feelings, so you don’t need to overly explain how you feel; it is more likely they will use your words as ammunition against you, rather than actually caring about how you feel.
2. Make A Plan (And Keep To It!)
Make a break-up plan before you talk to them, and try to stick to it (even if they are trying to push your buttons to make you emotional). Decide what you want to say, keep it brief, and make sure you have a solid exit strategy. You don’t need to spend hours going around in circles, so end the conversation if things become repetitive.
Set break up boundaries and make them clear to your ex. If you tell them you don’t want to speak about the issue again, don’t answer if they call. This can feel cruel, but you have been clear about how you feel and what you want; discussing it again will be unnecessarily painful for both of you.
4. Don’t Automatically Believe What They Say
Finally it is important to not assume they are telling the truth. Narcissists have no problem lying if they think it will benefit them, so many of them lie desperately during a break up. They will say anything they can think of to make you stay with them; they may tell you your friends don’t really like you, and that they are the one who truly cares. They may say you won’t find someone as good as them again. Either way, be aware that they may be trying to manipulate you so that you don’t leave them.