If you’re not a confident person dating can be very difficult. So many parts of dating require confidence – especially opening yourself up to rejection from a stranger! Sometimes it can feel like the best option is just to avoid dating – but in reality the difficult part is well worth the possibility of a loving relationship.
If you have been dating for a while and you’ve realised that you’re not very confident, don’t worry. Most people feel nervous when they are dating – even the people who seem very confident!
Here are a few tricks that you can use to improve your dating confidence.
1. Make Sense Of Your Feelings
The first thing that you should do is sit down and think about why you don’t feel confident when it comes to dating. Are you a naturally shy person, or have you recently gone through a difficult break up? There are lots of different things that could be affecting your confidence, and simply being aware of the root cause will help you to feel more positive about your situation. Remember that you can’t change the past or who you are, but learning about these things will make it easier for you to understand why you lack dating self-confidence.
2. Don’t Over Plan
One of the main things that nervous people do before a date is plan out a few conversation topics – just to make sure that the date doesn’t end in total silence. This may seem like a good move, but it will actually intensify your nervous feelings as you are focusing on the worst case scenario.
Instead of worrying about what to say, try to focus on being in the moment. If a short silence does happen you can ask a relevant question, such as; do you like this venue? Are you enjoying your food/drink? This will resume the conversation and you will feel less nervous as the conversation is more natural.
3. Make Sure That Your Date Feels Relaxed
Most people feel less confident on dates as they constantly think about their own nervousness. Instead try to make sure that your date is feeling relaxed, as this will take the pressure off you so that you feel more at ease. It will also make your date feel special and appreciated!
4. Don’t Look For ‘Signs’ When You Talk To Your Crush
Remember that even though you feel scared, it is just a date! It doesn’t matter if you put the other person off, or if there is no attraction – simply move on and arrange another date with someone who you have more in common with. Don’t spend the night trying to work out if your date likes you or not, as this will make you seem more nervous and desperate. Just focus on enjoying yourself – and if the date is a success, hurray!