Do you hate the idea of being vulnerable? If so, you are not alone. Many people put up emotional walls after a difficult experience (such as going through a tough break-up, or cutting off a toxic friend), as they think this will protect them from any further pain.
Sadly doing this can actually make it harder to form new relationships. After all, it is difficult to form a relationship with someone who isn’t willing to open up to other people! So if you want to improve your chances of starting a new relationship, it may be time to accept yourself and become more vulnerable.
Here are five tips to help you be more vulnerable when dating.
1. Change The Way You Think About Vulnerability
Regrettably we live in a society that often mistakes vulnerability as a sign of weakness, especially for men. But this is far from the truth; vulnerability is a sign of strength and self-love. It shows that you are emotionally available for the people you love, and you are consciously aware of your feelings and thoughts. This can boost your confidence and feelings of self-worth, which will make you feel stronger – not weaker.
2. Understand Vulnerability Is Different For Everyone
It is also important to be aware that vulnerability is different for everyone. Some people are willing to open up about their passions on a first date, but hold off talking about the past for weeks or even months. Other people prefer to talk about other people’s emotions to begin with, and then they talk about theirs when they feel more comfortable. So even if it seems like your date is holding back, remember they might not be; they might just be vulnerable in a different way to you.
3. See The Advantages Of Being Vulnerable
Being vulnerable allows you to share your emotions with other people. It allows you to create more intimate, real connections Sure, if you close yourself off you may protect yourself from rejection… but you also make it much harder to have genuine relationships.
4. Take Small Steps To Be More Vulnerable
Once you understand the advantages of vulnerability, you can start to take small steps to be more vulnerable. Of course your walls won’t come crashing down overnight, but you will see a difference if you make an effort to open up. So go slow, and set small goals (such as telling someone about a difficult experience, or asking someone you like on a date).
5. See Your Value
Finally it is important to see your value. You are important and unique, and you have lots to offer other people, even if some people do reject you. So see your worth, see your value – and accept that everyone gets rejected sometimes (so it isn’t an indicator that you are failing).