How Often Should You Message Someone You Met Online?

How Often Should You Message Someone You Met Online?

Matching with someone online can feel amazing, especially if you are really attracted to the other person. But how often should you message them?

After all, messaging is a fine art; too much or too little can put your crush off, so it is important to get it right. Thankfully there are a few things that you can do to make sure your messages are a turn on, rather than a turn off.

Here are four things you should consider when you start messaging someone new.


1. Keep Your Cool

It can be tempting to send lots of messages if you really like the other person, but try to keep your cool to begin with. Take your time to read their messages carefully, and if they seem quite reserved respect their space. It is likely that they will warm up the more they get to know you, so you don’t have to keep your cool forever – you just need to try for the first few weeks.


2. Look At Their Response Times

See how long it takes for your crush to respond. Maybe they only text during the evenings, or maybe they prefer to text during the day. Either way try to mimic their availability, as this will make it easier to have a conversation that flows.

If you notice that your crush always takes days to text back, ask yourself if they seem really interested. Some people do have very busy lives, so this isn’t necessary a bad thing – but if they can never spare any time to talk to you, it is possible that they have other priorities.


3. Keep The Conversation Interesting

If you want to keep the conversation going, try to think of new, interesting things to talk about. Ask about any specific interests that they list on their profile (such as vintage clothing, exercising or cooking vegan food), or send them some memes or vidoes that you enjoy. This is a fun way to learn more about each other, and it tends to be more interesting that simply asking “what are you doing today?” every day.


4. What If You Only Just Started Talking?

If you only started talking to someone a few days ago conversation every day might be too much. This isn’t the case for everyone, of course; lots of people fall quickly and immediately start talking every day, but it doesn’t always go this way. Some people have emotional baggage or busy lives, and this can make them hesitant to dedicate too much time to a relationship straight away. If this is the case then messaging them every day might make them feel overwhelmed, so instead keep it casual with a message every other day.

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