John Adams is a forty-something writer and YouTuber who focuses on lifestyle and family issues. In this guest post for DateBritishGuys, he reflects on his experiences of Internet dating and offers some advice for those who may be slightly older or trying it for the first time. John can usually be found writing on his blog Dadbloguk.com (http://dadbloguk.com).
Let me get an awkward confession out of the way. I am married and I no longer go Internet dating.
This, however, was not always the case. A few years ago I came out of a very long-term relationship. In the intervening time the world had changed. Internet dating had become very popular and every single person I knew was at it.
A work colleague of mine met his wife and had a family with a woman he met online. Could I be missing something by not trying it myself? There was only one way to find out!
I had great fun and some wonderful dates along the way. I also learned a few things. Here are some hints and tips from someone who is older than your stereotypical Internet dater.
- Read the profile of your date very carefully. You won’t look particularly clever if you meet in person and overlook a major part of their profile (IE, they have children)
- When you make contact with someone for the first time, be careful of appearing too keen. A short message that says “Hi, I liked the look of your profile. Would love it if you took a look at mine,” is ideal. It’s an instant turn-off to be flooded with too much information straight away.
- Learn the language. Internet dating comes with its own set of acronyms that can seem bizarre to the uninitiated. LTR, for instance means Long Term Relationship, WLTM means Would Like to Meet. Always check what an acronym means if you are unsure.
- Action speaks louder than words. For your own peace of mind, not to mention safety, you should spend a short while communicating online before progressing to phone calls and then meeting in person. If, after two months, you’re still having online chats, ask yourself whether this relationship will ever progress.
- Internet dating is not for losers. This is one of the greatest, albeit bluntest, pieces of advice I received. If you are slightly older, you may have been in a very long term relationship and never done anything like this before. Internet dating may seem a bit odd at first but it is the norm these days. I, for one, know lots of people who are married or settled down with partners they met this way.
- Remember it is called online dating. You may be lucky and meet your lifelong partner. Go into this to have fun and see what happens.
- If you decide to meet someone, make the first meeting brief. Maybe coffee, a drink, something you can get away from easily if you can tell things really aren’t going to work out.
- Use recent photographs on your profile. Some people innocently use old, youthful pictures because it’s all they have. Just remember you are representing yourself and it isn’t fair to use an image of yourself from Glastonbury Festival in 1994 if you’re actually 45 years of age.
- Spend time looking at other profiles before you create your own. See what you like and what really works. It’s worth the time and effort to create something really good. You’re great, so let the world know you are.
- Finally and most importantly; do not share personal information such as your address and always meet in a public place. Follow exactly the same rules you would if meeting someone on a blind date.
I am going to add one final point. Above everything else, have fun. That’s what dating should be. You may find your Prince/Princess Charming. I wish you every success and hope you do. More than anything though, enjoy yourself and meet some great, new people.
Oh, and by the way, there is one added bonus if you happen to be a British guy. DateBritishGuys.com will give you completely free membership. You’ve got everything to gain and nothing to lose.