We love the idea of love. We love the idea of companionship. We love the stability. We love loving. What we don’t love, though, are the prejudices about single people… especially when you are over 40.
For decades now, the single climate has been structured around firmly-adopted paradigms supporting the idea that – if you are a straight person who is over 40 and single, you must be struggling. What rubbish.
Apparently, if you don’t have a partner, you don’t have a personality or a life worth mentioning. Too bad we never got that memo twenty years ago when our careers were beaming and the sky was the limit, right? Maybe, had we been smart enough to skip through the beauty of our challenging, professional youths (and I’m using the term “smart” very loosely here), now we’d all be happily married with no other purpose in life than to cook lunch for our husband or wife. I think not.
Even people who did get married early on but, unfortunately, had Cupid skip town a little too soon, agree that having a partner in one’s life isn’t a tale of needing a rescuer or purpose. It’s wanting a partner to love, care for, and share your heart with. Love is, actually, that simple.
Still, it’s not all that bad.
Once you accept the fact that prejudice is a defense mechanism of those who don’t know better and that – for the most part – they have nothing to do with you personally… you let it go and enjoy.
The idea is to find like-minded people. People who understand and appreciate the fabulousness and the accomplished nature of a person in their 40s. Such people are your ticket to a paradise that’s freed of bigotry and focused on loving.
If you’re divorced and starting over or you are only now stepping onto the dating scene, here’s why dating in your 40s is actually pretty amazing.
1. You are comfortable in your own skin
Insecurity. The feeling looming over us during most of our 20s. When you are in your 40s, you know who you are, what you like and what you can offer. You’ve, by now, learned to appreciate yourself and that’s the vibe you are oozing. With THAT energy and attitude, any (right) man will be lucky to get a chance with you.
2. You aren’t hyped about the wedding drama
Unlike our 20s when serious relationships are all about that big wedding box stocked with newspaper articles on Lady D’s wedding, gown cut-outs from bridal magazines and souvenirs from bridal showers, 40s are the age of pleasure and enjoyment freed of banalities. Weddings are no longer the focus. Your partner is your focus. Sex is your focus. Travel, wine nights, Costa Rica and Santorini are your focus. Having enough money to skip town for the weekend together. The life you’re building with them is your focus. Maturity is amazing, right?
3. You’re not obsessing
The cat and mouse game is fun (and gut-wrenching, too!) when you are a kid. Obsessing over how to make the first move, who should be texting whom, are they there for sex only, should you call them back even though you know they have cheated, etc. are all charming dilemmas of youth, as well.
Once you reach a mature age you are no longer in such a mind-set. If you want to call, you call. If you want to make the first move, you make it. If it’s just sex, it’s just sex. And it goes both ways. The communication is healthy and it’s freaking liberating!
4. You’ve got experience, and that counts
To an accomplished person, a partner who has had a life before them and managed to keep the ground beneath their feet solid and sparkling is everything. An accomplished person isn’t threatened by their partner’s skills; if anything they understand that a person with a formed character and a clear vision is a true catch! To them you are an aphrodisiac. Enjoy it – and enjoy your 40s!
Roxana is a travel enthusiast and lifestyle consultant from Sydney and she loves to write about her adventures. She is all about the healthy lifestyle, and she loves to run with her husband and dogs. You can find out more about her writing following her on Twitter and Facebook. She is also one of the editors at Higstylife Magazine.