Letting go of a relationship that you thought would last forever is very painful and hard. However, the feeling of letting go will also empower you and help you to find happiness in the future.
Holding on to the past can stop you from living a happy present and it can be emotionally damaging. Most people have experienced a tough break-up, and the healing process is similar for everyone; it doesn’t matter who was right and who was wrong, or who ended the relationship and who wanted to make it work.
Here are 6 tips to help you move on from your past relationship.
1. Accept That The Relationship Is Over
The most difficult step in moving on is the first step; accepting that the relationship is over and in the past. Lots of people struggle to accept that their relationship is over, as they hope for another chance to make the relationship work.
This rarely happens, and holding on to the past will stop you processing your grief. You need to acknowledge the pain and loss, and you need to accept them both. We grieve so that we can move on; grief allows us to be happy again.
2. Spend Time Mourning The Relationship
Sometimes people expect that they will cry for one afternoon about a break up, and then they will feel fine when they go to bed. The truth is that some people need weeks or months to grieve – and that is totally fine! You have a right to mourn the end of love, and trying to speed the mourning process up can be emotionally damaging.
Process your feelings slowly and don’t rush yourself. Remind yourself that you deserve to mourn. Remind yourself that you deserve to be happy. Remind yourself that you deserve to feel love.
3. Don’t Be Physically Intimate With Your Ex
Lots of people continue to spend time being physically intimate with their ex after a break up. Most people do it because there are still emotions there, and it is a confusing time- but this is a big mistake if you know you aren’t getting back together.
If someone you love has rejected you as a partner, it is unfair of them to expect you to be sexually available. Sleeping together may lead one person to think that the relationship might restart, but the other person is unlikely to agree – especially if they ended the relationship. This is heart-breaking for the first person, and it makes it very difficult for them to grieve and move on.
4. Don’t Force Friendship With Your Ex
Lots of people are friends with their ex’s, but this rarely happens immediately after a break up. This is because both people are grieving and experiencing confused emotions, so it is difficult to be friends without romantic feelings arising.
If your ex is pressuring you to be friends, it could be a sign that they are trying to control you or get back together with you. Remind yourself that you can’t reset the relationship to friendship. Both of you need to heal and move on before a genuine friendship can be started.
5. Think About The Mistakes In The Relationship
Once you have stopped grieving, you will have a more clear perspective of the relationship. Maybe your partner was passive aggressive, or maybe they struggled to be open and honest. Maybe you had issues with jealousy, or maybe you struggled to say no to your partner.
Without negative emotions you can assess the mistakes that you both made in the relationship, and you can learn from these mistakes so that you are happier in your next relationship
6. Start A New Relationship With Yourself
After a long relationship and a tough break up, it can feel like you don’t fully know yourself anymore. Start a new relationship with yourself, where you can rediscover hobbies and passions. Spend time with your friends and family, and find something that you can focus your energy on. Make a list of your dreams and goals, and start trying to achieve them. You deserve happiness – now go out and get it!