So you want to know how to approach someone hot? Well, there’s a perfect recipe: strut your way over to them, tell them the cheesiest pickup line you can think of, see their horrified face, retreat in shame, and then spend the rest of your days living alone. Works every time! Oh wait, did you want a different outcome? Well damn, sit down then, we’ve got some work to do.
We’re only joking. Here are 6 real tips to help you to get the courage to approach someone.
1. Mix Planning And Improvisation
If you have no experience with flirting and approaching people, you’ve got to practice. Think about what you want to say, practice it in front of the mirror, and have it ready when you’re approaching the person you like. But here’s the deal; you will also need to improvise. You don’t want to come up to them and sound too rehearsed, nor do you want to go there and stutter your way through an awkward “Lovely weather we’re having today!” Basically, you need the golden middle. Practice, but adapt to situations as they come.
2. Give A Big, Bright Smile
A dark, tortured past is only sexy in movies. When you approach someone in real life, they’ll be infinitely more thrilled to see someone who is smiling sweetly than someone who seems to have adopted the expression “doom and gloom” and made it their entire personality. This doesn’t mean you need to be smiling at all times, but that kind of casual brightness and joy has a very big impact on people and tends to put them at ease and make them like you.
3. Take A Shot
Some liquid courage might be all you need to walk up to that person and charm their pants off. No, this doesn’t mean you have to get drunk. That kind of thing usually ends up with you dancing naked in the street, and hey, while it’s amusing for the rest of us to watch, we assume you want things to run a bit differently. Have some vodka, and if you want, mix it with orange juice to make a nice, handy Screwdriver. This is the perfect cocktail to rely on in times of need.
4. Be Laid Back
Flirting isn’t rocket science (thankfully!) so don’t treat it like it is. You don’t need a PhD to figure out how to approach a person. Even if they’re of the opposite sex, even if they’re really hot, even if they’re super cool, they aren’t aliens. They’re normal people, so just go there and have a nice chat. They want what any other person wants – to be listened to and to talk about interesting subjects. So, ask a question, listen, and give feedback. Don’t judge anyone, be kind and the same courtesy will be extended to you!
5. Be Honest
Honesty is absolutely one of the sexiest qualities. You wouldn’t believe how disarming it is to talk to a person whose life is an open book, who isn’t ashamed of anything and who speaks loudly and openly about what they want and how they want it. So, speak your mind and be yourself. If you try to fake something people will usually either see right through it or even if they don’t, you won’t end up enjoying yourself. Building something on a lie never feels good, so just be honest.
6. Learn To Move Past Rejection
Here’s something you need to know right off the bat: you might be rejected. Maybe once, maybe many times. People will refuse your advances because they don’t like you, or they already have someone, or maybe they like you just fine, but the time isn’t right. Either way, don’t worry about it too much. It will happen. It has happened to everyone around you, and it will happen to you. And that is fine. If you see rejection as nothing other than failure you’ll just grow bitter and insecure, and you’ll keep missing opportunities because you’re too afraid to do something. You got rejected, so what? Stop seeking validation in the eyes of strangers who don’t want to date you. Learn how to take it in stride and move on. No one is to blame here, neither you nor the person who has their own personal, valid reason for rejecting you.
Dating is loads of fun if you have the right approach to it. Be laid back, honest and don’t expect too much. Finding a connection doesn’t come from expectations, it comes from letting things flow naturally. Approach people with light in your eyes and a smile on your lips and you’ll already have peaked their interest.
