If you have been dating for a while but you often feel insecure, stressed or alone, it could mean that you don’t have the right skills to find love. This isn’t anyone’s fault; maybe you lost confidence in yourself after a bad break up, or maybe you are clingy because you have abandonment issues.
Thankfully it is totally possible to learn (or relearn!) these skills. This will make the dating experience much more enjoyable – and it also means that you are more likely to someone who actually suits you and your personality.
But what are the skills you need to find love? Is it about being sexy and flirty? The quick answer is no. The real skills you need involve compromise, self-love and appreciation.
Here are five skills you need to find love.
1. Being Observant
One of the most overlooked skills you need to find love is being observant. Dating is much easier if you know how to read social ques and body language. Non-verbal communication (such as eye contact and touch) are a huge part of dating, and if you learn how to read these unspoken signals you will find it much easier to understand the person you are dating. For instance it will be easier for you to work out if your date is feeling stressed or upset.
2. Being Assertive
It is also important to be assertive when you are dating someone new. This doesn’t mean you should push them around or try to change them – but it does mean you should speak up if you feel uncomfortable or unhappy, and you should always try to say how you feel. It can be tempting to be a people pleaser, but in the long run you may feel like you have compromised who you are to make someone else happy.
3. Being Able To Compromise
Compromise is an essential part of any happy relationship. After all, everyone is different, so compromise is a natural part of any relationship – and if there is no compromise the relationship will quickly become one-sided.
Remember that if you really respect and love someone, you should be willing to make a compromise so that you can both be happy. It can be tempting to push your partner to do what you want, but over time they may start to resent you for this.
4. Knowing How To Manage Your Time
Life can get busy, so it is important to know how to manage your time when you are dating someone. This works both ways; don’t ditch your friends and your career to focus on your crush, but do make sure there is room in your life for them (even if you are very busy). So take the time to schedule dates in advance, even if you prefer the idea of being spontaneous.
5. Being Able To Deal With Stress
Finally it is important to know how to deal with stress. Stress is a normal part of life, especially when it comes to dating, but lots of people don’t know how to handle stress well – so if they have a fight with their partner, they become dependent or they completely distance themselves. Sadly neither of these reactions are very healthy!
If you can relate to this, consider teaching yourself how to deal with stress. This could be as simple as trying a relaxing breathing technique, or you could try something more complex like meditation. Either way you need to be able to deal with stress without it having a negative effect on your relationship.