From extravagant gifts to long, loving quotes shared online, it can often seem like every relationship on social media is #relationshipgoals. But apparently this is far from the truth.
Recent research found that over 50% of millennials pretend to have a happier relationship online – and this toxic culture means that lots of people now expect an over-the-top, unrealistic relationship. They spend months or even years looking for a relationship straight out of a rom-com… and when they can’t find one, they feel stressed and frustrated.
If you can relate to this, it may be time to consider setting more realistic relationship goals for your next relationship.
Here are five romantic relationship goals (that are actually realistic).
1. Realistic Relationship Goals: A Weekly Date Night
It is unrealistic to expect your date to spend all of their free time with you, but a weekly date night is very realistic (and encouraged!). It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for a while or are still in the honeymoon period – either way, quality time together should be a priority for both of you. You can even do this if you are quarantining or in a long-distance relationship; all you need is an internet connection and the Zoom app!
2. Consistent Compliments (From Both Sides!)
Compliments are a normal part of a healthy relationship. They make each partner feel loved and appreciated, and it can help to keep the romance alive. But you don’t need to buy expensive flowers, or write a long post on social media to compliment your partner; it can be as simple as telling your partner “you look great in those jeans!”.
3. Having Inside Jokes Together
Inside jokes are a simple (but important) relationship goal for most healthy couples. Being able to laugh and joke around together shows that you have a shared sense of humor, and it also ensures the relationship is fun and light. Sure, this may not happen if you’ve just started talking – but if you’ve been messaging for a few weeks or months, inside jokes will likely occur naturally.
4. Being Able To Fully Relax Around Each Other
Perhaps the most important relationship goal is to be able to fully relax around each other. You should feel comfortable when you haven’t made an effort with your appearance, and you should be able to say your thoughts and opinions without overly harsh judgment from your partner. This shows that you both truly accept each other for who you are (rather than loving an idealized, fake version of each other).
5. Creating A Couple’s Bucket List
Finally it can be fun to create a couple’s bucket list together. Sure, you may not be able to afford a luxury couple’s holiday right now, but there is no reason you can’t dream about going on one together one day. You can also add smaller, more achievable goals to the list (such as meet in person, or visit a museum together). This will give you both hope for the future, and it also means you have fun, mutual goals to bond over.