You miss your ex, and you want to win them back. You hate not having them in your life, and the idea of them dating someone new makes you feel sick.
Can you relate to this? If so, you’re not alone. Breakups can be extremely difficult, and many people would rather get back with their ex than go at it alone. However it is very important to think about this decision before rushing into anything. This is because giving a relationship a second chance can be very emotionally challenging, especially if you are doing it for the wrong reasons.
Here are four things you should do before getting back with an ex.
1. Give Them Space
The first thing that you should do is give your ex some space. This is probably the hardest step, but it is important to respect the decision to break up. Someone ended the relationship because they felt unhappy, and both people need space to process this decision. So give them (and yourself) some space for at least 15 days. This will give you time to get used to being alone, and it will also give you the chance to get some much needed hindsight on your relationship.
2. Think Clearly About The Problems
You miss your ex and you desperately want them back, but there is a reason the relationship ended. Maybe it was trust issues, or distance; either way there is a real problem that needs addressing. Take some time to think about this, and then be honest with yourself; do you really think that the problem can be fixed? Do you think your ex will be willing to work on the issues? Sadly the issues aren’t always fixable, so it is important to really think about this.
3. Don’t Beg
If your ex ended the relationship don’t beg them to get back with you. It can be really hard to accept that they don’t want to be with you, but you can’t change that by begging. The only thing that will happen if you beg is that you will look needy and dependent, which isn’t fun for either you or your ex!
4. Start A Dialog
If 15 days have passed and you still want to give things another go, contact your ex and try to start a dialog. Ask them to meet you for a coffee, and be honest; tell them that you miss then and you want to give things another go. There may be certain issues that need discussing or resolving, so try to have an open mind – and remember that there is a chance your ex won’t want to get back with you. If this is the case you should respect their decision and make an effort to move on with your life.
5. If You Try Again, Put In The Work
If you decide to give the relationship a second chance it is important to put the work in. Past issues will need to be resolved, and you will also need to let go of any resentment or frustration that you have. If you are able to do this the relationship is likely to be stronger and happier than the first time around – but if you can’t let go of past issues, it probably means you shouldn’t get back together.