4 Lessons You Can Learn From Past Relationships

4 Lessons You Can Learn From Past Relationships


Lots of people feel like their past relationships were a waste of time. They think that the relationship is something that they should regret.

However, failed relationships give you the chance to gain wisdom and learn more about yourself.

Of course, it is normal to feel regret after a relationship ends. After all, a failed relationship can leave you with feelings of heartbreak, sorrow, guilt, betrayal and pain. These feelings can cause low self-esteem, anxiety, depression and anger – but over time these feelings will pass, and you will become stronger and wiser.

Instead of feeling regret about your dating past, you should try to learn from your experiences. This will help you to learn more about yourself and what you want from a relationship.

Here are four lessons that you can learn from past relationships.

1. You Learn That Some Relationships Don’t Last

It can be very difficult to accept that some relationships aren’t meant to last, but it is an important life lesson. Once you accept that lots of relationships are temporary, you will stop blaming yourself for past break-ups, and you will realise that break-ups are handy life lessons.

There are lots of different reasons why relationships end. Maybe you and your partner weren’t compatible, or maybe you both wanted different futures. In reality the break-up was for the best, and you are in a better situation now that you are no longer with them.


2. You Learn More About Yourself And What You Want

After a relationship ends you should take the time to look back on the relationship so that you can learn more about yourself and what you want. You may realise that you often put your partner’s happiness before your own happiness, or maybe you will realise that you struggle to communicate your feelings effectively. This gives you the chance to work on yourself so that you are happier in future relationships.


3. You Learn That You Can’t Change Other People, But You Can Change Yourself

Lots of people assume that they will be able to change their partner. Normally this comes from a positive place; maybe you wanted your partner to have more self-confidence, or maybe you wanted them to try harder at work so that they could have a career that they are proud of.

Sadly the reality is that you can’t change someone else if they don’t want to change. Change comes from within, so if your partner doesn’t want to change they won’t.

However you can change yourself. You can identify your own flaws and problems, and you can work on them so that you don’t have to deal with the same relationship issues in the future.


4. You Learn To Value Your Own Company

Some people hop from relationship to relationship without ever spending time alone. However spending time alone will make you resilient, strong and able to rely on yourself. It will also teach you to love yourself for who you really are.

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Amy Johnson
Written by Amy Johnson