Most people love a few different people before they find their soulmate. This can feel a little frustrating; after all, no-one wants to spend years with someone, only for the relationship to end.
However there are actually lots of advantages to loving people before you meet your soulmate; it will teach you more about yourself and what you want from a relationship, and it will also make it easier for you to spot toxic, negative traits before they become a problem.
Here are three kinds of love that most people experience before they find their soulmate.
1. The Co-Dependent Relationship
People in co-dependent relationships tend to rely on their partners too much. Often the co-dependent person believes that the other person is responsible for their happiness, so they have unreasonable expectations. Maybe they expect you to spend every night with them, or maybe they dislike you having friends of the opposite sex – either way, the less co-dependent person often ends up feeling trapped and unhappy.
This is very different to real love, as real love isn’t suffocating. Real love will make you feel supported, motivated and happy!
2. The Unrequited Love
Unrequited love can really suck for both people. It is very hard being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back – and it is also very difficult to know that someone loves you, but you don’t return their feelings. Most people experience unrequited love at least once in their lives, and this will teach you that love needs to be two-sided for it to work. There is no point perusing someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you, and it is unrealistic (and a little selfish) to assume that you can eventually change their feelings.
3. The One-Sided Relationship
You put a lot of time and effort into the relationship, but your partner never matches your effort. You constantly compromise and make sacrifices, while your partner is happy to take, take, take. This can be extremely frustrating, and over time it can ruin your self-esteem.
This kind of love can be very painful, but it will teach you about what you deserve in life – and it will also make it easier for you to spot selfish people in the future.
Dating can be difficult, but take solace in the fact that nearly everyone experiences these types of love. It doesn’t matter how good looking you are, or how kind you are; either way, there is a chance that you will go through a few bad relationships before you meet your soulmate. But when you do meet the one, trust me; it will all have been worth it.